Can I Complain in Peace?

Like Job, during my time of weakness and torment I was told not to complain. Which lead me to ask “can I complain in peace?”

“If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭11:30‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I allowed myself to be humble and speak out about how down I was on all levels, I had nothing to boast about except for my weaknesses. My health, my son’s health, the nursing program at school, my home life, my love life, my finances, the uncertainties that came with the start of COVID, and so much more had me weak and on edge. At this time my prayer life wasn’t the strongest and I just wanted to complain. Normally I kept things to myself, but I heard that when you admit to your weakness God gets to show you how strong you are.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9‬ ‭KJV‬‬

As I humbled myself and showed my weakness to those who I thought were going to help me, I was quickly told not to complain. I was told that it was my fault and everything was brought unto me because of my sins, just as Job was told by his friends. This is where my prayer life began to strengthen.

“For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the power of God toward you.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4‬ ‭KJV‬‬

I stopped relying on those who are physically here on earth to tell me if was right or wrong. I crucified the thoughts I had, the fleshy understanding, and I humbled myself before God instead of man. I complained to my maker, my savior, my father, the one who would strengthen me, and make a way for me.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

To answer my question, God told me it is okay to complain as long as I am taking the complaint to him; the one who always wants what’s best for his people. I found peace in knowing that I can be real with God, he already knows what I really feel anyway. Knowing that he is near during my brokenness and weak times, allowed me to to give God permission to take control of my life for his glory and my good (Romans 8:28). It took weeks and months of prayer, I wavered back and forth through having faith and no faith. I wondered if my weakness was just too weak for God, if what I had going on was beyond repair. Each day in little ways God reminded me that there are answers to my prayers as well as silence to certain things that weren’t for me. Either way nothing was too far gone for God.

““I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭32:27‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Fast-forward through the year: God healed me and my son, God has allowed me to pass every nursing class and every benchmark test, my home life has been improving, love life has been healed (healed through singleness, but healed nonetheless), I won a lawsuit that I forgot I was apart of because of how long it has been and got a scholarship paying for the rest of my schooling which healed my finances, and COVID is starting to be understood a bit more. God has been answering my prayers in many ways and he is not done.

Next week I will be speaking on singleness as a mother Christ and how God healed my love life.